When I was playing a Minecraft Modpack (Sky Factory 3) with a few colleagues, the owner of the server had a stone helmet crafted that made him kicked and now can't play in this world because he was always kicked Now, my question comes into play, can you delete an item from someone who is not on the server by command or by data, or something like that?
You could delete the complete player profile on the server via FTP or via the online browser (if your hoster supports it). He would not have his inventory, armor and progress, but at least he could join again. Simply go to the World folder on the server and delete / rename the corresponding file under Profiledata. So he can join the server again.
If this item is bugged I would then open the config folder and open the corresponding mod folder there. If the mod has a config entry that disabled the item, then I would do it. Or quite simply the complete mod disables.
Otherwise, you can make a copy of the player profile and try to edit with the NBT Editor. There would have to be an inventory entry there. But the easiest way would be to delete and recreate the player profile as a whole.